A dream crushed by three words…”Return to Sender.” I mailed the letter with high hopes, great expectations, dreamt of the response and three weeks later that’s what I got… CRUSHED!
I have been trying to find my biological father for a while and I was able to finally find an address. I found him and for no other reason I wanted him to know that there was no ill will toward him. I wanted to tell him that he was loved in-spite of the fact that he abandoned my mother and 4 other siblings. That I had forgiven him and above all God is love. I pictured his face when the letter arrived, his surprise and even tears to know he was not alone…but his response was “Return to Sender.” Not once but twice and yes it was his penmanship. I haven’t seen it in 28 years but it hasn’t changed, I would recognize it anywhere. My Christian walk was not an easy one, especially when it comes to the fact that we are to relate to our Heavenly Father as what?!?!? A father? My father abandoned me. My father neglected me. My father stole from me. My father never loved me. My father lied to me. Is this the God that I read in the bible? Absolutely not!!! Rejection causes damage in each person uniquely and in a variety of ways: anger, depression, insecurities, shame, etc. The saddest part about rejection is that it steals from you your God-given identity. God is love according to 1 John 4:8. Feeling loved means you are accepted. I knew this I really wanted to believe this but rejection mutes and rejection speaks. It won’t let you hear the good that God’s Word offers you but it shouts about the bad that has happened to you. (Rejection Exposed) One of the most powerful working of rejection is that it warps, twist and darkens our perspective…and we just don’t see God. Thus, I believed if my earthly father could not love me how in the world could God? As I read the Bible I began to understand the verse in 2 Timothy 2:25, ““Study to show yourself approved before God.” I began to understand that I was loved. That God is His infinite wisdom wanted me to know that I am precious in His sight. I had to read the Word and study it, by doing so I gained the wisdom I needed to overcome the root of my rejection, that I am APPROVED by my HEAVENLY FATHER. He created me just as I am and nothing I could ever do would warrant His love for me. He loves me just as I am! He created my imperfections, my eyes, hair and heart exactly the way HE wanted them. I HAVE His SEAL of APPROVAL and nothing or no one will ever take that from me!!! Not even my biological father. I am not rejected! I am APPROVED! Getting back to my letter, I was on SKYPE with my grand-daughter’s mother when the letter was returned. She told me she was going to start searching for her biological father, whom she has never met. I was excited and told her about my letter. Just then, my husband hands me the letter and says “I’m so sorry.” I looked up at him, read the postal message, then looked at her. Return to Sender? She looked at me with tears in her eyes and I all I said was…”Its fine because this does not validate who I am and whose I am.” Coincidence? Absolutely not, she of all people would be the person who could relate to my situation. I’m not going to say that I’m not hurt by the turn of events, but I can say that the OUCH phase will be gone, healing will happen and as God promises “This too shall pass!”
Keeping It Simple and Straightforward